Our funny, energetic, loving twin boys turn 5 today! To know them is to love them. To spend time with them is to know pure joy. We are beyond grateful that God choose us for these amazing boys. Today we celebrate them!
9 months ago today we held our precious twin boys in our arms for the first time! We have had 9 months of hearing their laughter, seeing them smile, wiping their tears, tickling their bellies, cuddling them close, and hearing them say, "Mama & Papa". 9 months of forever and we could not imagine life without them. We have been living life on the mountain top. God is so faithful. Our adoption story has been a beautiful gift...even the years of waiting. God used our wait to draw us all nearer to Him. It was beyond hard and messy, but I would not change that part of our story. We can't omit it either because God showed up mightily and moved many mountains during the 12 years of waiting. Adoption is messy and we know questions, hardships, and heartache will surface and resurface, but for now the hardship of our journey has been the wait. We could not have designed a smoother transition. God paved the way and ordained this beautiful family. One day I pray God gives me the words to accurately articulate this beautiful gift he has given to us...one day.
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Tonight while making dinner this was the view out my window. The joy that welled up in my soul was gushing. The beautiful lush green rebirth of spring, the sun shining, the blessing of shade, the beautiful blue skies, siblings playing and laughing, and a wild pup added in for fun. Nehemiah 8:10 says, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Life is full of ups and downs. Valley's and mountain tops. The view from the mountain top is vast and wide in scope, but the valley can be dark and narrow. In this life, we will experience hardships and failure. We will spend time in the valley. Proverbs 24:16 says “For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by a calamity.” In this world we will all fall—we will rise again to experience success, but we grow in the valley's. Joy and hope are virtues that inspire us to have the strength to climb back to the top of the mountain. That said, finding the strength to get up after a fall/struggle is quite a task to perform without joy and hope. Proverbs 24:16 is describing a joyful man, a man that hopes in the darkest hour, and he rejoices even when there isn't anything good to rejoice about. A man like this will ultimately succeed—because he rejoices in God amidst his failures and struggles. That was my station for many years in our adoption wait. I felt consumed by darkness some days and I knew I needed to call out and praise my God. Sometimes all I could manage was praising God's graciousness for hydration so I could cry my tears or praising God that I had breath. Breath is vital and worthy of praise, but in those moments it was a near sighted praise because I couldn't see past my breath. God has given me so much! I have praised Him through our storms and today I praise him from a mountain top! Our days are full and as our schedule ramps back up to full speed, I find myself exhausted at the end of the day. Beautifully, joyfully exhausted. The joy of watching all four of our children laugh, be grumpy with each other, and play is a moment I will cherish for my whole life.
I haven't posted in a while because well life is busy with 4-year-old twin boys. There’s so much to share and update. This journey to forever God has us on is a wild ride and I would be lying if I said I am full of joy always. We are doing great, but there are moments that have been hard.
We often tell our teenagers that hard does it mean bad. Hard means hard! Putting in the hard work usually yield great results. April 30th, will mark 6 months home with our sweet twin boys. It has been very obvious that God's hands we're all over this process. Truly the boys are bonding and attaching and thriving. God has covered everything we have asked and more! It is a great joy to watch them thrive in their new surroundings, home, and roles as brothers, children, grandchildren, cousins, nephews…LOVED! Even still, life goes on. We quickly fell into a routine. Life gets busy, but we tried to meet the boys' schedule where they needed it to be, maintain schooling for the big kids, find time to go grocery shopping, prepare meals, and get everyone to practices and games, etc. It’s in the routines of life that we get stuck. And about 3 months after the boys came home, I got stuck. I allowed Satan to the whisper lies and cause me to feel trapped in my circumstances. Our ever. Changing. Circumstances. The last few months have been a roller coaster I didn’t see coming. I struggled with feeling less than, not enough, and overwhelmed as a wife and mother. Satan lies. God doesn’t make mistakes and I am exactly where He would have me. Three months after we brought the boys home, Dusty lost his job. We found ourselves facing uncertainty and yet we knew God was going to point us to His best for us. We learned through our adoption journey that even if we have complete faith that God has the ending in hand, the middle can still be hard. I was struggling in this middle place. The stress and fear got the best of me and I was overwhelmed to the point my body was reacting physically to the stress. We continued to remind ourselves we are to consider it “pure joy” when we face trials. God was working in our family and I needed to rest in his shelter. God has been growing something in our hearts since before we left to bring our boys home. We believe He has more for us to do in Africa, Burundi, the world of adoption, or for orphans. We don't know what it is yet, but He has our yes. We know a seed was planted and it's growing. Since our boys have been home we felt it begin to sprout and we were so hopeful we could identify it, but we are still not sure what's growing. In His perfect timing, God will reveal His desires for our family to serve Him. In the meantime, I can’t push and stress over what God is waiting to show us. I have to be patient. I had to refocus and ask God to search my heart and pull out my wrong focuses. To show me His way and direct me once again from the path I want to forge because I thought it was the best direction for me and my family. It’s not always comfortable to sit in the presence of Christ, but it's beautiful! When we ask God to search us and we are willing to listen to the Holy Spirit, we hear and have to face where we fall short. It’s easy to slip into self-loathing and allow Satan’s whispers to become your truth. Staying steadfast during the hearts cry for God to make you more like him is a mighty battle. It isn't always pretty, clean and glamorous. During this season, I felt broken, weak, battered, and bruised. God was and is making me beautiful in this hot mess. We can see the big picture from the mountain top, but we grow in the valley. God has our best in store and we are trying to follow Him as we wade through these uncharted waters. Does Dusty’s job change have to do with how God is calling us to serve Him? I tried to solve it all in my own head and that only brought more fear and anxiety. God doesn’t need my help. When I was overwhelmed in the day to day and feeling all was lost, I remembered it was “pure joy” to be in this place. God was showing me so much, if I would just look up and see it. And on days I was stubborn, He really showed off. Super bowl Sunday we were so excited to be back with friends enjoying a night of fellowship. I took my crock-pot full for my part of dinner and of course plugged it into their wall. That is exactly moment when it decided it was time to literally shoot out fire and short out circuits. Considering it was a wedding gift, almost 19 years ago, it was destined to go any day. But why there? Now I had to worry about a mess I made at someone else’s house. Thankfully, we were able to get all the outlets in that part of the kitchen up and going again. Now I had to face the task of buying a new crock-pot. Nothing is made well anymore and the thought of spending money at this point on a crock-pot was not on the top of my list. I searched. I knew I needed a bigger one because we had added two 4-year olds that can out eat most grown men, and I finally decided to get an 8.5 quart that was on sale for $85. It arrived and I was sad to see that the button panel was detached. I am not above gluing things back together, but for $85, on sale, I decided it should be corrected and I submitted a return. The company refunded our money and said to keep the product. No big deal…expect that God wanted me to see that He has us covered. Even on little things like crock-pots. So we praised Him for his prevision. That was enough for God to shake me out of my fog. For me to realize that He still has our journey in His hands. My outlook got brighter and I remembered who I was in Him and started to find joy in my daily tasks as a mom, teacher, and wife. But just to make sure we REALLY got it, God orchestrated, as only He could, an even bigger moment. Dusty had been driving a company car for many years. So with the loss of his job we also lost our second vehicle. We were prepared to arrange being a single car family as needed for a time. The only struggle was we had to manage things around the schedule of 4 year-old boys, whose schedule was vitally important. My sister and her family offered to let us borrow their vehicle for a short time as we searched for a reasonably priced car that was reasonably safe/reliable. Blessing number one! Ansel joined a basketball team the week we left for Africa. We so appreciate the team welcoming him in. We felt out of the loop for a time because we were gone and then home with the boys. Once we started attending games, we began talking with a family from the team that also has a heart for adoption. We quickly felt connected though our adoption journeys’. Their encouragement in our early days home was so welcomed and comforting. Shortly after Dusty lost his job, I shared with them that we were “considering it pure joy” to walk through these trials. We discussed the crazy market for car shopping. A few weeks passed. I was up through the night praying for a situation in Burundi and while making breakfast, I started thinking about this family and the work they do to support children in Africa. As I made breakfast, I prayed that God would show me how to connect with them to have the conversations He wanted us to have. Within 5 minutes of that prayer, I received a text message from them asking if I would give them a call. OK God what do you have planned? I dialed the number anxious and excited about what God was about to do, but I was not on the same page as Him. I thought we were going to get an open door to how God wanted us to serve orphans in Africa. Upon answering the phone I was asked, “Are you still looking for a car?” I said, “Yes”. Followed by, “will Ansel be at practice tonight?” Again, “Yes”. “Great. We have a van we want to give you. We will bring it to practice tonight!” . I had to have that repeated. They called to say they were GIVING us a van...that day! Wow! To be honest this we very emotional for Dusty and I. Who were we that this family we barely knew would give us anything, let alone a vehicle? God had put so many pieces into place. The van had belonged to the grandmother of Ansel’s teammate. She had just gotten a new vehicle (after a very long wait). The parents of this teammate called her and asked if they could purchase her old van to give to a family on their son’s basketball team. They were willing to purchase this van for US! She began to cry and said, “No”! Confused they asked why. She told them that when her new van arrived that day, God told her to bless someone with her old van. She had spent hours online looking for a place to donate her van. So if they knew a family that could use it, that she wanted to give it to them. And she did…after filling up the gas tank for us! The owner of the van was grateful God had given her a plan for the vehicle. That the timing of her new van arriving fit His perfect timeline. The teammates parents were are blown-away that God would allow them to have ring-side seats to what God was doing. We were blown away that God had laid all of this out to benefit our little family. God has been showing up in our valleys. He walked us to the mountain top when we brought our boys home, but he is not done and so down we go. Walking behind Him as he leads us to get back to work. To the valley where we can grow. We live in a fallen world. We all have brokenness. Adoption is brokenness. We opened a door and welcomed brokenness into our lives, family and home. God is preparing us to face the brokenness. He is guiding us through trials of many kinds to show us His perfect care of us. God is showing us His best for us. We just have to be brave enough to walk through the transition to get to where He's taking us. We’ve seen Him move mountains. We have watched him miraculously move for our family in our adoption story. And one would think after seeing it, it would be really easy to trust the next time. And I would say to a point it is. Taking a leap off the next cliff, you feel a little less apprehensive, but I am not perfect nor will I ever be in this lifetime, so I'll have apprehension. If you have followed this blog for any amount of time you’ve see the highs and lows. Every story has highs and lows…why should ours be any different. God has been with us on every avenue in bringing our boys home. It is amazing how they have simply and easily grafted into our family and family life. I truly don't know how an adoption could be any more like a fairy tale then what we're experiencing. But that doesn’t mean it's not hard. It doesn't mean that the brokenness isn't there and the struggles aren't real. We’ve all had grieving. We have grieved big and small things. Some things have been more devastating and harder than others, but for each of us individually the grief has been impactful. We have grieved the way life is now even though we are better together. We have grieved over the opportunities that have changed and we've missed. We have grieved losses of friends, homelands, languages, and life as it used to be. Grief takes its toll on your body physically and emotionally. We are pulling together as a family and solving it and working through it. Hard isn’t bad. Update on the kids: We had a feeling the boys were going to grow quickly and that Ennis had a bit more catching up to do than Harrison. Time has proven us right. Ennis has gained 8 pounds since arriving at home. He has grown a whopping 4 inches! His feet have grown 2 shoe sizes. He was wearing 24 months pants when we came home and is now in a 3T. He is not showing signs of slowing down. Harrison has gained 5.5 pounds since arriving at home. He has grown 3.5 inches, and his feet have grown 1 shoe size. They are growing by leaps and bounds. The boys are communicating extremely well in English. Their vocabulary continues to grow by leaps and bounds. They both still love cars, trucks, trains, and anything with wheels. We play cars for hours. They can both count to 10 and sometimes, by accident, to 20. They love to read (be read to), sing songs, and be tickled. They love riding their bikes and scooters and just being outside. With the arrival of spring, they have found joy in finding bugs and worms. The want to go to the car wash every time we pass it. They love to pick out snacks at the grocery store. They are settled and comfortable with us and American life. Ansel and Sophia have been amazing. Truly, they deserve far greater praise than they daily get for being amazing siblings. We are blown away at how awesome they have been with their brothers and how well they have adapted to this huge change in our family. They are rock stars! Every day is a new journey. We are all thrilled with this plan God has laid out for our family. We still don’t know exactly where everything is going or how it will all look, but we know He has it well in hand. This week had all the makings to be considered a hard week...but God. We continue to be blown away by all He does for our little family. Daily I am reminded of His faithfulness when I hear giggles echo in our home, when I have to step over mountains of cars, when I get to wipe little bottoms, and when all four of my beautiful children are cuddled on the floor laughing and playing during our morning time for school. I am still a work in progress, but God has does some amazing things in my heart through our journey to the boys. To be honest it's a thrill to jump and free fall into God's arms. To know the safety and peace that only He can give our hearts is a reflection of myself at my very best in this world. Once you experience this kind of closeness it's easier to trust God the next time you find yourself standing in the dark unaware where to step next. I am human and stubborn so I forget. I try to go at things myself...less now then 10 years ago and hopefully even less in 10 more years. But because God knows all of this about me, because He is never going to give up on me, because He has plans to grow me to be more like Him, He allowed me to be part of a story He is telling. A story where I get to be the momma of twin boys from Burundi. Two boys who daily are a boisterous, visible, and giggly reminder of what God can do. I am and will always be amazed that God has allowed me to be part of their story.
Today, January 30th, will mark three months home with our sweet twin boys and as a forever family of six. We have settled into this wild, loud, and crazy fun life. God has grafted us together as only He could do. We are all thriving! Don’t get me wrong. Adoption is a journey of brokenness. A picture of God’s redemption. He takes us broken, messy and just as we are and redeems us to His family as one of His own. Our boys have suffered more in their short life than most Americans will experience in a lifetime. Their story is not mine to tell and I am in no way a hero in it. They are changing me-showing me who God wants me to be. At three months home the boys have mastered laying down and going to sleep. I joked when we arrived at the airport with a friend who has traveled the adoption road twice. I asked how long it would take for the boys to adjust to the time change and sleep through the night. I asked him to tell me what I wanted to hear and said one week, right? He smiled and obliged me by agreeing one week should do the trick. Turns out that is about all our boys needed. By day five home they were readjusted to our time schedule, set on the schedule we had been following, (the same schedule as their shelter had them on) and sleeping through the night (after a two hour afternoon nap). In the early days we played a lot of “found you”. A game where the boys laid on the bean bags under a blanket and yelled, “found you”. Which was our cue to go and find them. We played a lot of found you. They immediately adored their big brother and sister. They loved to just be with them. Over the last three months their bond has become incredibly strong. We are so blessed to have our children home for schooling. The time together has been an undeniable blessing. At the three month mark, they want to love and fully co-habitat with our sweet (but easily excitable) dog, Oliver, but there is still just a twinge of hesitation. They do love him and are very concerned when we leave him home alone. They both still LOVE anything with wheels. Their current favorites are the mail truck and trash truck. We are so grateful for so many of you fueling this excitement in them by sending mail. They love opening the letters they receive from the mail truck. Their best friends are elephant and teddy bear. At Christmas, they made room in their hearts for Mr. Raccoon and Mr. Fox. Their favorite bedtime story is Goodnight Dinosaur. They are really started to get into having books read to them…this makes my heart soar. They love pizza, noodles, and pancakes. And have found their four-year old English words: no, stop, give me that, and oh my goodness. But also I love you, please, thank you, and many many more. We have a pretty set bedtime routine that has been in place since day one. The boys love reading their picture books. One book is the book we sent the boys in Burundi full of pictures of us and one is full of pictures from the day we all met at their shelter. After reading those, we 9 times out of 10 read the Goodnight Dinosaur book. Thursday night, while reading our picture books our youngest said, "Momma, I know you were coming." We knew the boys were told we would arrive on Monday morning, but due to an event in the Burundian government we were delayed until Wednesday morning. It broke our hearts when we learned the boys were told we were coming and then we didn't show up...for two days. I think this is what he was talking about. Those last days of waiting to meet his Momma and Papa. He then continued and shared that her told this girl, pointing at a specific friend in the book, that boy, and this girl that his "Momma is coming". It melted my heart to hear that while there might have been sadness in our delay he was delighted to tell his friends that we were coming! As we continued to "read" the book, he started to point out things he never had before. The missing plaster on a spot on the wall. The curtain going to his room, the window with metal grating in place of glass. He looked up at me and said "Momma! I want to stay here." I scooped him up, gave him a big kiss, and promised that he will always stay here. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and promised I would always be his Momma! His whole face smiled and he hugged me. He then asked if we could read the “fox book” for bedtime (instead of the Goodnight Dinosaur book). I cuddled these precious boys, that I am blessed to be called Momma by, onto my lap and read them “When God Found Us You”. I only cried a little. I am blown away by the courage and strength of these tiny little humans. There is not a day that goes by that I am not in awe of them. I am not sure if God is using them to remind me to stay focused or if He is simply allowing me to enjoy the gift of trusting in Him. But I do know that I am grateful for the opportunities to run head long into the dark knowing that He knows the way and will get me to where I am going, where He wants me, perfectly safe. The season of advent is a time of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of Christ at Christmas. This season has been both very difficult and extremely reflective for me over the last 5 years. As each year passed, my heart longed even more for my children to be home. All I could do was lean harder into God and reflect on the waiting. Through the hurt of my waiting, I could feel the hurt of our broken world waiting for a savior to come. It was a beautifully painful season. This advent season has been spent wildly reading our Christmas countdown books, learning about baby Jesus, and what Christmas is all about. It has been full of giggles, snuggles, joy, excitement, and fullness. This advent season, we have been able to hold our boys in our arms. They are home and we are all thriving as a family of 6! As we have prepared for this Christmas, a celebration of Christ's birth, we have read "Jesus' birthday story" and played with our Nativity set. Our boys call every baby, baby Jesus! What a joy to hear their little voices talk about baby Jesus and His birthday! I shared with a friend that they call every baby baby Jesus and she responded, “maybe they see Jesus in every baby.” I hope so.
We are almost 9 weeks home and it still seems surreal that they are here sometimes. My heart still flutters when they say (not yell) Momma. Christmas is just a couple of days away and as I watch these sweet twin boys sleep, I am left thinking now what? Advent has been very meaningful for me in our wait, it has brought me closer to God. This season is different. They are home, I feel full, but I don't want to miss what God has for me. I realized advent goes beyond the waiting to celebrate Christ’s birth and into waiting on the return of Christ at the Second Coming. I am still waiting! I am waiting for God to fulfill every promise. He brought our boys safely home. He has answered prayers we never even thought to ask. He has grafted two amazing boys into our family seamlessly. Those promises have been fulfilled. But He has more promises. He will return and I want to be ready. I want my family to be ready. My advent focus is more important now than ever. I have four children that God has entrusted into my care. Four hearts God has chosen me to pore into. Four amazing people that can change this world by shining His light. I will fall short! I will make BIG mistakes! But God will fill my gaps. While He has given me the chance to be their mom, they all belong to Him! He has plans for them. He has created them for His workmanship. I am just lucky enough to have a front row seat to the amazing things He will do in their lives. And for that I am eternally grateful. I am in awe of the story God is writing for my little family. This advent has been different, but God is still be with me in my wait. Merry Christmas from the Miller Family! 4 weeks ago, today, we stepped into a little building in upcountry Burundi and fell completely in love. We had prayed for just over 12 years for the child or children God had ordained for our family. We had waited with our agency for almost 5 years. About a month after we signed our contract with our agency, I, Deidra, had a dream that we were matched with twins. I keep that dream mostly to myself, but knew from that moment we would, at some point, update to be open to siblings. God is so good! We prayed for God to prepare us for the boys and for God to prepare the boys for us and wow did He answer our prayers. We are a family! They are ours and we are theirs! Not one of us has questioned it. Through all the bumps along the way, God has always come through. The struggles with our agency haven’t disappeared because our boys are home. We have some hard conversations ahead, but it feels great to be fighting those battles from this side. Fighting for other families as we hold our boys in our arms. We are exactly where God would have us as a family. We continue to be blown away at how he has graciously woven us all together. Adoption classes prepare you that it won’t be a fairy tale and to let go of your expectations. We are not naive to the fact that we will have struggles, but we are as close to fairy tale as you can get. We are better than fairy tale, we are a family exactly as God designed us to be. So much has happened in 4 weeks since we first laid eyes on our sweet twin boys. We picked the boys up on October 20th. Once we heard the shelter was at risk of being shut down and that they would have to move children, we knew we needed to arrive before either of those things happened. God's hand was in so much as the shelter gained favor with the government officials and was granted more time to complete the list of requirements to stay open, but they still didn't have the money to do it. On November 1st, all of the children and staff were moved to their new building. It was a hard time for them to adjust to a new place. The night they moved in there was no power and it had to be scary, but God. Since the day we picked up our boys the shelter has moved into the new buildings, but through generous donations MANY needs have been met to ensure this shelter stays open and operating. There is something so incredibly special about our boys Burundian home. The shelter struggled to provide food on a regular basis to the children, electricity was come and go, and water was received from a community pump. Despite all of that all of the children in this facility are clean, happy and healthy. God is watching over all of them. But it’s love that is causing them to thrive. And the staff who is regularly to never paid, loves the children as if they were their own. There’s no substitute for love and compassion. God is Love. As humans we need love to thrive. While our boys might not of had three meals every day. They were not regularly seen by a doctor or provided with medical items needed. They were loved and that has made all the difference in their ability to thrive. The staff continues to love the children going through changes and God continues to provide to meet their needs. Through donations, Beds have been purchased for the new building. solar panels have been purchased and installed to provide electricity. Fresh water via a well is being worked on currently. And because of God’s beautiful family that shows gracious love, food will be coming on regular intervals for the next year to the shelter. All in four weeks… our God is so big. Also in four weeks the boys have bonded fully to their mama, papa, sister, and brother. Attaching is going fabulously well too. The boys actions and attitudes show to us that they feel safe and loved. And that they feel secure with their new family and in their new environment. We couldn’t ask for more. So many things that we had prepared and prayed for just have simply vanished because God has answered prayers. Don’t get us wrong, they are four year olds and we all know four year olds have strong opinions, but the day to day things we face right now are simply toddlers woes. We love celebrating our boys Burundian family. Every night at bedtime we “read” their Burundi family book. It’s an album with pictures and they love to tell us who everyone is and tell us stories. We currently don’t understand what they’re saying but we will continue listening every night in hopes that they remember their stories and when we do understand what they’re sharing we can experience them together. Another one of God's gifts to us is that we are connected with many families who are bringing children home from the same shelter. Many of those kids came to the shelter at the exact same time as our boys and they are family. God has brought us together so that we can continue to build connections and friendships between these children. God orchestrated the timeline so that we would travel with the only other family traveling from Indiana. We were able to support one another in country build a friendship that has a bonded us as family. Our boys are absolutely in love with the young lady who came home with her forever family. We are overjoyed at the blessing of this connection. We are settling into routines. Life is moving forward. We are learning and growing as a family. We laugh, we play, we sing, we dance, we bug one another, and we love it all.
God’s story is so beautifully written. I am blessed beyond measure this week by the extended family I have gained through my boys. Of course their biological family will always be dear to our hearts and a celebrated part of our family, but we have gained so much more than that.
God has blessed me with wonderful friends, adoptive mommas, throughout our entire adoption journey. They have moved from a place of friendship to a part of our family. They have understood the struggles, prayed through the hard, praised God with me through the hurt and joys, and lifted me up as I have walked this stretch of road to motherhood. We have also journeyed this road with others in the same season of waiting season who have supported, understood, cried, and praised God with us. Some of these families have children from different shelters than our boys, but some of them have children that have been living in a family with our boys for years. They are as much a part of our family as our boys and I am feeling blessed today that I get to love their families and be loved by them. I am so thankful we have found one another in this journey. Thankful for the sanity you give me and thankful for the relationships for my children. We have made connections we can keep and grow for our boys. Thank you all for being a part of our story and allowing us to be a part of yours. Our journey has been long. God placed our future children on our hearts just over 12 years ago. For years the hard part of the journey was waiting on God to say move. For almost 7 years, we watched our "big kids" grow and wondered what God’s plan was. It’s no secret those were hard years for me. God had promised a child, but I had to wait on Him. During those 7 years, I watched family and friends welcome children through delivery and adoption into their lives. I always had joy for them, ALWAYS, but there was also always this place in my heart that ached. During those 7 years, God called me to China twice for the plight of the orphan. But both times I was there he whispered clearly, “your child isn't here”. My heart ached. During those 7 years, I attended countless conferences and conventions where the headline speakers were telling their adoption story and journey. I would sit and quietly sob in those dark arenas. But also during those 7 years, God started bringing beautiful and wonderful families into our lives that were growing through adoption. Families we got to pray with and journey with. Families that have taught me so much about adoption and about who I am. Families that have been a support and that I could never have imagined journeying without in the last 5 years. God made a promise. We never doubted that he would keep it, I just struggled with when He would fulfill it. Today marks 5 years since we "officially" began our adoption journey. On September 22, 2016. Dusty, who had been praying for God's leading on timing, who had heard “not yet” for 7 years, said it's time to start taking next steps and seeing where God wants us to move. My heart had waited 7 years to hear him say, "ok, it's time." I am sure I had other things scheduled that day, but I know I spent EVERY minute I could researching and learning about different agencies and options. We continued to pray and seek God’s direction. He made himself very clear, very quickly. And it's been amazing to see how He has been working in the background. For almost 7 years Dusty said it's not time, our son isn't here yet. My heart hated hearing that phase, but I also knew he was right. Brief overview: I’ve always known that God was going to move at a time where it would be obvious that it was to His glory and not due to my planning. I knew I was going to have to step out of the way and allow Him to shine, let loose of my reins of control. But I never thought He would bring us to this place and time in our world. It is nothing but the grace and glory of God that has and will continue to move mountains for us to bring our boys home.
On this 5 year mark from beginning our adoption journey, I was so prayerful we would be in Burundi. We are so close...I thought it would be so beautiful of God to have us holding our boys in our arms on this day, but that wasn't the plan. If I am honest, I am struggling a lot in this last season of waiting. The labor pains are hard, but I know that God’s plan for that day we meet our boys will be more beautiful than I could imagine. HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME. No matter how I doubted, no matter how I feared, no matter if I was angry, no matter if I was sad. Through it all He has been faithful. We will continue to follow Him in our wait. And when he says go, we will be ready! Updated: Watching God do His thing....we learned at 3:40 pm on September 22, 2021 that our final letters from the court were signed today... exactly 5 years from God saying, "Go", our adoption is legally finalize. We have a court decree! We are working to get our travel visas while our attorney is working to get our boys passports. We have tentative travel plans for the 3rd week of September! We are one BIG step closer to our boys coming home!!!!
We feel so grateful to be a part of this amazing story God is telling. Our role has always been the same, follow His lead. He has been faithful on the good days, faithful on the days filled with sadness, faithful on the days we doubted, faithful on the bad days. He is faithful!!! Your support has been amazing through the journey. Thank you for your prayers and support. We continue to pray for God's perfect timing as we move forward and that we have the clarity to follow His lead and not try to get ahead. We were looking though some old pictures and videos tonight and found some treasures. I know how long we have been waiting, but to see how little the kids are in videos and pictures is mind blowing. I can't believe how much they have changed in four years. I decided I needed to add some videos on here so they were part of our blog. This first video is awesome! I didn't remember this before I saw the video. This is Christmas morning, December 2017. We were one year into our wait. Our boys were not born yet and we obviously didn't know they would come to us through a shelter in the mountains in Burundi. Most children at that time were in shelters nearer the city. Sophia is the queen of making awesome gifts for each of us at Christmas and she usually makes a family gift as well. I love that she drew us in the mountains of Burundi. Fast forward a year. It's now January 2018 and we made this video of our sweet girl discussing how God called her and her brother to adoption. While Dusty and I had been praying for YEARS and waiting on God's timing, it turns out He was working on the hearts of our children too. One night in 2016, Ansel and Sophia called a family meeting in her room. They had been "working on a plan" all afternoon, but I was not sure what they were up to. At bedtime, they asked up to join them in her room. They sat Dusty and down and told us God had been speaking to them and they believed it was time for us to start the adoption process. They believed that God was bringing them a sibling through adoption. Here are her thoughts: Just a month later, in February 2018, She decided to give her birthday away. This year she requested zero gifts for her birthday and asked instead that people take the money they would have used on a gift for her and donate it to our adoption fund. Here is the video she made to explain giving her birthday away. Time marches on and God's timing is perfect, but I would be lying if I said it didn't break my heart that these awesome kids missed so much time with their siblings and that their brothers have missed so much time with them. They will be together soon and I CAN NOT WAIT for all the adventures, laughter, and joy to come. Mailing our dossier in 2017.
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AuthorMy name is Deidra Miller. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Dusty, for 17 years. We have two biological children and our family is growing again. We prayed for 2,786 days and God answered our prayers. More days (almost 4 years) have been added as we wait for God's perfect plan for our family. We can't wait to meet our beautiful twin boys! Archives
October 2022
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